Unpredictable

If I had to pick one word to sum up my experiences with  my new job in Student Ministries over the past six months, it would be this: UNPREDICTABLE. For those of you with children aged 12-18, I believe you may know what I am talking about.  There are so many challenges and joys of my job that I never could have predicted. Some of these variables are quite challenging, while others are so overwhelmingly amazing that I struggle expressing them in words.

Perhaps the best example of this unpredictability can be observed through the lens of our summer mission trips. We took three mission trips this summer, and in each of those trips we encountered circumstances and situations that were far beyond our control. Some “highlights” including blown tires, the bus breaking down – twice, a serious medical emergency that required a rushed transport to the hospital, and getting stranded in the middle of Georgia and having to stay an extra day with our broken down bus (and that was just one trip….seriously). In fact, none of the three trips went according to plan. Schedules fell through, trips had to be cancelled, plans had to be changed at a moment’s notice. We really stretched the limits of motto in Missions of being “F.A.T.” (flexible, adaptable and teachable).  Even from an objective viewpoint, it could be very easy to observe our situation and declare that we endured many challenging and at times downright scary situations.

When it comes to facing unpredictable and even fearful circumstances, I cannot help but to think about the story of Peter attempting to walk on water found in Matthew 14:25-33. Here we find Peter and the other disciples watching Jesus walking on water during a strong storm. Peter cries out to Jesus “Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water.” Jesus calmly responds to Peter saying simply “Come.” Peter eagerly gets out and starts towards Jesus, and then after a few steps, starts to sink.

I used to read this story and think “Of course Peter sank! Who does he think he is, Jesus?” However, a closer look reveals that Peter was actually walking on the water to Jesus at first. He was doing just fine until he noticed the waves around him. He got scared, uncertain, and lost his focus on Jesus. It is only then that he begins to sink.

The devotional “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers is one that I refer to often and have, over the years, found it to be deeply inspiring and often times scarily relevant. I particularly enjoy Chamber’s comparison of Peter’s literal attempt to walk on the water to the challenges that we often face in our lives:

“We step right out with recognition of God in some things, then self-consideration enters our lives and down we go. If you are truly recognizing your Lord, you have no business being concerned about how and where He engineers your circumstances. The things surrounding you are real, but when you look at them you are immediately overwhelmed, and even unable to recognize Jesus…. Let your actual circumstances be what they may, but keep recognizing Jesus, maintaining complete reliance upon Him.”

It is so easy to focus on the chaos and confusion of our lives. However, in doing so, we can very easily lose sight of Jesus. I intentionally left out some of the experiences from our mission trips. I offered you the perspective of our trips while only focusing on the chaos or “the storm” of those experiences. What I left out was that even in the midst of the challenges we faced this summer, even in the struggles and uncertainty, we were given glimpses of hope and peace despite the chaos around us. I mentioned our bus troubles. What I didn’t mention was the extraordinary kindness shown to us by First United Methodist Church of Orlando, who offered to come pick up our kids in Georgia and drive them home through the night while I stayed back with the bus. I also didn’t mention a phone call to a service shop the next day that ended with a perfect stranger praying for me, praying that God would be revealed in this situation. I mentioned an emergency trip to the hospital. What I didn’t mention was that when the student woke up in his room, he saw a familiar face: that of our former Director of Student Ministries, Andy Cartee.

These and so many other “the rest of the story” encounters offer glimpses of hope that remind me of how overwhelming the Kingdom of God can be.  However, they also remind me that even in the middle of our strife and uncertainty, the Kingdom of God is so present and so close, and all we have to do is look for it. It was these moments that made seemingly unbearable circumstances possible and they offered hope in otherwise hopeless situations. We, like Peter, encountered Jesus at a time when it seemed as if there was no prospect of relief from the storm anywhere around us. And there was certainly hope for Peter. When he began to sink, and all seemed lost, Jesus “immediately reached out his hand and caught him.” 

Indeed, this summer at times was a challenge. We encountered many “waves” in our storm. Yet, even in the storm, when the waves were crashing the hardest, we caught glimpses of the horizon. We were able to see Jesus calmly calling to us, “Come.” Without the hope of Jesus, the storms of life would almost certainly be too much too handle on our own. And even in a life of faith, we still encounter obstacles and circumstances that are beyond our control. So what are the waves of your life? What circumstances are causing you to lose focus on Jesus? Where might you need to step out of the boat and know that even if you begin to sink, Jesus will be there to catch you?  It is my prayer that we may all have eyes for the Kingdom, even in the midst of chaos.  Amen.

David Killingsworth